You’re not losing yourself, you’re becoming someone necessary.

Over the past few months, I’ve had a lot of conversations with dads — new ones, expecting ones, and a few seasoned pros — all circling the same unspoken question:

“Is it normal to feel… different?”

Short answer: yes. Longer answer? You’re not just adjusting your schedule, you’re literally rewiring your brain.

Becoming a parent, whether it’s your first or third, changes your nervous system. Hormones shift. Priorities reshuffle. Your brain starts scanning the world through a new lens: Is this safe for my kid? How does this affect my family? Do I have snacks?

It’s not just a lifestyle change, it’s biology catching up to love.

Studies show dads experience surges in oxytocin and prolactin too. Our brains adapt to help us tune in — to be more emotionally available, more responsive, more locked into the little stuff that actually matters.

That’s why things that used to stress you out might not anymore. And why stuff you never noticed — like the sharp corner of the coffee table — now feels like a hazard.

You’re not losing your edge. You’re just sharpening it somewhere new.

This season can feel disorienting. Like your brain’s under renovation and you’re walking around the construction site trying to parent in a hard hat.

But here’s the thing: the discomfort means it’s working.

You’re not supposed to stay the same. You’re meant to grow into the kind of person your kid can count on.

So if you’re expecting a baby soon or stepping into parenthood again and feeling stretched or uncertain, take a deep breath.

Your brain’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to. Your instincts are coming online. You’re becoming someone new — someone necessary.

And there’s no rush. You’ll grow into it one messy, beautiful, sleep-deprived day at a time.